hi im really fūcked

btw pc is back

im really losing my fūcking mind.

im so paranoid. i want to go home. i literally keep having flashbacks of mitchell and joe oh my fūcking lord.

joe is my father..

i just remember him shouting. so much. thats why it fūcking terrifies ne. if anyone shouts. he hit me a lot. i just. and its almost christnas. im fūckibf dreadibg it.

i just. i remember christmas eave one year and marie got a call and. karen. mark. and caitlyn. they. oml. im stressibg so much. and my beans gonna be really inactive. amd i dont get to talj to you like hardly ever im hate this so much.

and jay got really excited

hes so cute

i wabt jay :((

im at the hospital

i never get cramps haAh

and i cant cancel christmas hes been planning tgis all year and ive been saving up for his present and i actually got it the other day and im really excited to give it to him omll

but wait its one tiny thing

oh whale it cost fi. a lot heh

cute cute cute

SERIOUSLY I HAD A DRAW IN MY BEDROOM DEDICATED FOR THE MONEY I WAS GOING TO SPEND FOR JAYS PRESENT AND I WAS LIKE ‘YEAH TGIS IS GREAT HES GOING TO LOVE IT’ but now looking at it its really shīt

BUT WAIT IS IT TOO SOON TO GIVE HIM SUCH AN EXTRAVAGANT GIFT

oh gift buying is so strsssful

very happYYyy

look at that facEeee

i hope its the right one fūck there were so many to choose from i stood there for about an hour fml

🔥💦😍❤️🔥💗❤️😍

alright now that i think about it. is fifteen thousand too much to spend on our fiRst and only christmas

fūcckkks

ah you guys are adorable

ive gone too mucH havent i łmao we shoulda had a price limit ugh

watch your moUTH

but nahh your cute ašs is the hottest

nope, eNd of story

can you message jay i think he hates me

why wont he unblock my number

you are tOO

this sucks i miss him

he seemed really pīssed when i talked to him yesterday.

hi im kat :)

i dont know :( he was walking really quickly and he didnt say much and he just seemed like he hated my conpany

you win every time you look in the mirror

hmph

am i?👀

actuAlly ‘m not

is he high?? he has his sister there i thoufht?

complimenting yOu

in a not-flirting way

change yo link hadls

i cut down on drinking. why is he being mean.

hadley lynN i am not flirting, the definition of flirting it “behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but for amusement rather than with serious intentions”

and that is not what ‘m doing. i haVe serious intentions

and i don’t knoww

something that isN’t “fūcked”

i don’t want to hear that word unless it’s about me and you ;);)

hmph.

i dont know :(

hadley lynn👀👀

so wsp

and you wondEr why you’re going to fail your exams hah

good luckk

you better get goiNg

oh lord.

i dont know.. i never told him anything. oml. this is it isnt it. hes my lobster.. :((🦀

no pRoblem

hAdleY lyNn

im gonna throw up.

you gotta do it

finee, if you say so

math is my favorite subjEct i’ll do it for you

why is he. so. how did he find out.

im crying so much. i cant breathe.

i cant. im really confused tbh. i really fūcking like luke. like. a lot. but i also like jay. a lot. but now he hates me. i think my beans hating me tbh lol ugh everything. ugh.

sounds like a pLan

i got you hadls

jake?

‘m sorry, any way i can help ?

i am proud but wHy do you always swear

idk. :/

my friend ellie. committed.

im so fūcking close. to taking my own life. right now.

you probably shouldd, hey hadley guess what

hadley. i need you.

im so hurt. im so fūcked up. i must admit. joe fūcked me up. but do you know what i think really tipped me over the edge? mitchell. i was never this bad. until he came and fūcked me up. im so weak. i dont eat. i dont sleep. mia and ana keep speaking to me. i cant do it anymore. i have no motivation for anything. even hearing that i coukd have a little kitten. i mean. im happy. but im not ecstatic like i once was. he really fūcked me up hadley.

i love you

mhm.

i love you hadley. thank you for being such a great friend. i hope life treats you well. look after jay for me. i love you.

goodbye.

oh yeah definitely, shīt

i love you too.

shh. its alright. its gonna be okay. ♡

its alright. youll soon forget about me. replace me. im easily replaceable. i get replaced a lot. heh. that hurts. i cant handle the pain anymore.

it’ll work out hadls, i swear it’ll be okay

she’s going to be jut fine, she’s going to get through this

of course you can. everyone else does.

im going to log out of my account now hun. i love you so much. dont forget that. your my best friend. i appreciate you so much.♡💭🌹

hello lovey! ‘m Olivia. Meredith called me saying she was going to um harm herself. so i came over right away. and shes sitting in the corner of her room. holding her fake rose in one hand, and has a blade in the other. theres a suicide note on her bed. do you know what has happened to make her so upset? xo

shes whispering to herself. i heard something to to with her mum, her dad, a luke, jay, a mitchell, a hadley, an ellie, a weston. she just said this big list of names. she keeps whispering but she wont talk to me, or let me get close to her x

of course xo

did you know roses was maries favouite flowers. i miss her. 🌹

she died of thyroid cancer. in her throat. the doctors basically said she will suffocate and theres nothing they can do. she was a lovely person. mum was. she didnt deserve the shīt she got off joe.

why isnt it my time..

hmph. im going to get my paci and teddy. and go to sleep. oli tuckrd me incyay. night nifht hadley i love yiu

i promise. ♡

did it work out??

i got to go, gn hadley lynn i love you <3

do you know the main reason why i didnt try last night.

little mer.

i dont even have one.

so ngl i might try.

the doctor said my depression is getting worse. yeah no shīt. whens someone gonna actually help me. instead of fūcking shoving pills down my throat every day.

‘we will up your dosage and start right away’ um yeah theres a problem. i dont take them.

fūck that. i dont fūcking need pills.

i love you hadlwy. thank you fir bejng such a good friebd.

cone back

hi social services got involved.

hadley...

mer’s in the hospital, she purposely ate nuts and she has a big allergy

*nut

hi tgis sucks i wanna od DID YOU KNOW THE HOSPTIAL SHOP ISNT ALLOWED TO SELL PAINKILLERS Ugh

my little kitten is gonna get taken away from me.

because well i thought that. you know i could try this apparently amazing nutella that im missing out on. its not that good. also. i thought. that i could suffocate.

did you see. when little mer is born. she might be taken away from me.

not a safe environment for a baby. bullshīt. ill look after her. i can look after her hadley.. ill protect her with my fūcking life.

we all know i cant do that. nick takes care of me oml

she’ll be okay

i miss you hadls :\

my throat hurts

it was all swolleN uP

wait shīt hadley is it mitchells baby.

theres about five possibilities of who it could be

oops

‘mama mia ; the słuttier version’ oh crãp THERES FIVE DIFFERENT POSSIBILITIES WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. FIVE. FIVE HADLEY. FIVE DIFFERENT PEOPLE. IM SCREAMING THAT IS SO AWKWARDLY EMBARRASSING AHAHAH

alright we need to rule this out. so. mitchell. jay. gunner. jacob. ashton. fūckkkKkkKk

ew i hope not jacob wow nick would blend my first born and skin me alive

what day is christmas day? :,) i asked someone but they were like ‘YOU DONT KNOW WHEN CHRISTMAS DAY IS!?’ uh no sorry judt answer my fūcking question? wow people are so annoying. i need to try and make out with jay hmph hes stubborn aF

ŁMAO SCREAMING I MEANT MAKE UP WITH JAY

but you know. make out works too

wow i lost the person who ‘thought the world of me’ because i like someone who friend zoned me. hmph.

i hurt.

i called jay and hes obviously drunk but he said ‘ill forgive you if you stop talking to luke’ my heart sToppEd.

no :,)

i want to dribk

hi i heed you

fūck. hadley please.

i lovevyou hadley. thank you so much. for everything.

you know when you have a friend. oli. okay lets use oli as an example. she is my friend. but she also has other friends who she hangs out with (she never invites me btw) and i kinda feel like she likes those friends better? because maybe they have more things in common. like im sorry i dont like horse riding or makeup or how pretty my hair is. ew. idgaf. but they do. so maybe there better friends with oli than i am? even tho i consider her one of my best friends? i just. feel so lost. and empty. hadley. i dont like it. i cant take it anymore. i love you.

its alright. uou dont have to anymore. goodbye hadley. i love you.

mayve i dont understand. but i understand how much you mean to me. your my best friend. we dont talk much anymore and i miss you :(( but im so broken. im so fūcking done. i feel so numb and empty. i dont like it anymore.

finals? how are they going, alright? i hope soo, dont stress bub its alrightt

alright. lets talk. its sooo coolllldddddd ugh.

im going to take. some medication. i have. a headache. i love you hadley.

hello